The Nose-Picking Pickup

When turning off my exit to go to work this morning, I see in the corner of my eye a guy in a black Range Rover flagging me down.

FUCK!

Is that my boss?  Did he just see me picking my nose?

FUCK!

I’m almost too embarrassed to turn around and confirm that it is.

Much to my dismay, however, my window is slightly cracked and at the stop light, I hear the driver say, “Hey!  How are ya?”

I look over and to my relief, it’s not my boss but rather a gorgeous, ruggedly cut and jacked older man who looks EXACTLY like the host from TMZ in Prada sunglasses smiling in my direction.

Oh fuck wait…did HE see me picking my nose?

I roll down my window and ask,

Me: Hi….do I know you? *knowing damn well I don’t but definitely intrigued by this sexy, white older man trying to holler at me in traffic* (DAMN nice arms.)

Him: I think I know you from somewhere don’t I? *still suggestively smiling at me and now taking off his sunglasses*

Me: *giggling* You use that line all the time there, Buddy, or just in traffic?

Him: *laughing* Just in traffic…what’s your name, Sweetheart?

Me: *checking the traffic light to make sure it’s still red* Jayla…hey has anyone ever told you that you look EXACTLY like the host from TMZ?  Are you that guy?

Him: *laughing again as I’m undeniably on a roll this morning* No, sweetheart, but I can be if you want me to be…

Me: *realizing that the light’s now green, swiftly replying* Nope sorry!  Not a fan of liars!!  HAVE A GOOD DAY!

While nothing turns me on more than ripped and buff older guys driving quintessential rich rapper vehicles, nothing can stop me from getting my skinny grande peppermint mocha with soy before work…even if he does look like a C-list celebrity.