With my Mai-tai in one hand and my dignity in another, I walk into the Luau by myself hoping to get a head-start on all the free alcohol before [Read More]
Single Girl
Ron Jeremy’s Magic Pills
Sitting in bored on a boring weekday night, Drama and I are hanging out on his couch listening to Drake FUCKING AGAIN while trying to figure out [Read More]
Pocket-Dial, My Ass!
Woke up this morning to Wiley calling me. I have not spoken to Wiley in two months since he dramatically and obnoxiously stormed off on me at [Read More]
Hey, Have We Fucked?
Walking into the laundry room today, I see some guy bent over and in the bottom dryer pulling out the last of his clothes. Blonde and toned, [Read More]
Hooker Role-Play Redemption
Completely baffled at the fact that Drummer wants to see me again, I sit on my therapist’s couch discussing whether or not I should just [Read More]
Know Thy Neighbor, The Child Molester
Not planning on going out last night, I lay in bed as the people in the apartment below me blasted music loud enough that you’d think the [Read More]
STD Clinic Controversy
I’m currently sitting in the clinic now, waiting to get my routine check-up. There is a sexy ass mother fucker filling out forms next to [Read More]
Kids?
Me: So somebody today asked me if I wanted kids...I can't even think that far into the future right now I'm only 25! King Kong: [Read More]
The Stripper Wedding
You would think that going to the wedding of a former stripper would be something akin to a bachelor party in Vegas, equipped with gorgeous [Read More]
My Beverly Hills Brazilian Burn
I decided to go to a different place to get a wax yesterday due to an unbeatable Groupon deal: $19 for one Brazilian wax in Beverly Hills. [Read More]
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