My Mocking Mama

Mom: *thick Filipino accent* So what ees yor new job den?
Me: Well, Mom, I actually write newsletters and marketing emails giving men sex advice…
Mom: Jay…how do yooo know any ting about dat?
Me: Mom…I happen to have a WIIIIDE array of knowledge when it comes to mind-blowing sex…you’d be surprised the shit I do…don’t worry I’ll spare you the details.
Mom: No…I mean I tot nobody will hab sex wit yooo. Eesent dat watt yoo talk about in yor blog ting?
Me: Ooh…yeah…thanks for reminding me, Mom.