Last night I get a Facebook message from a good friend of mine who’d just gotten home from a date…
He says, “AGAIN with this Cold Sore!”
I know exactly what he’s talking about before he explains, “I’ve been out on 4 dates already with this girl and I can’t go to kiss her cuz she’s got a cold sore…she says it might be shingles”
What he said next was what REALLY got me into a frenzy about girls who don’t put out AFTER FOUR FREAKIN DATES:
“On the way out from food and drink I said where’s your car, andshe said “We could go to your place and hang out and listen to music…it was like offering a thirsty man a nice glass of salt water in a wine glass!”
Now…one of the most confusing things for you must be when girls are still “around” (as in still going on dates with you, still texting you, still FLIRTING with you!)…but when the time comes to show you some love…
They’re quick to back out.
Women have sex and get sexual when we feel CONNECTED to you…and if we don’t…well…
Then we don’t put out.
Plain and simple we just might not be that into you.
So then you may ask, “Jessica why the hell are they still around then?!”
Well there’s 4 reasons as to why women would proceed to “lead you on” when really we have no plans of hopping into bed with you.
And once you know these reasons…you’ll definitely have a better picture of where you land…and where to go from here (which involves anywhere WITHOUT her).
1. “A Girl’s Gotta Eat!” – I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve accepted some dates for the sole purpose of having a free meal.
No I don’t go in EXPECTING for a man to pay…but in this day and age most men INSIST…and most women know this!
It’s not uncommon for girls to take advantage of the guys who are frivolously more than happy to pick up the tab for a meal or drinks…because let’s be real…a girl’s gotta eat.
And if she’s single, lonely, and can’t cook for shit…she’ll take a chance on you being the gentleman that you are to feed her.
How To Spot These Girls:
A good rule of thumb is to see if she reaches for her wallet when the check comes.
Maybe she did it the first date…and has never done it since.
If that’s the case, test her out on the second or third outing by saying, “Your turn!” when the check comes. Depending on how appalled she looks, that’s when ya know this girl doesn’t have SHIT in her fridge and probably won’t so long as you keep taking her out!
Another thing to consider is her career: Can she AFFORD to take herself out as much as you do?
I used to use dates for meals when I was in grad school and, while I’m not proud of it, there would be times when I’d open the fridge, cringe, and immediately call up somebody I knew who was dying to take me out.
No need to play Captain Save a Ho here if you really like her and want her and she obviously has no intention of putting out…
What you NEED to do is get her seeing you as something OTHER than a means to an end…
She needs to want you for YOU and not just for what you can give her.
2. “Yay Someone Likes Me!” – Isn’t it great when you know someone likes you?
Even if you’re not into them, the ego boost can be quite addicting.
And girls are no different!
Sometimes, we get hooked on the feeling of you wanting us…and even if we don’t want you too, it doesn’t mean that we don’t want that feeling all the time!
Of course we may not necessarily like YOU…but we like that YOU really really really like US…soooooo…
What were you saying about my sexy outfit again?
How To Spot These Girls:
These girls are a lil tricky to spot (the ones using you for the ego boost) mostly because ALL girls you date will like the feeling of you wanting them.
The way to tell that you’re dating an Ego-centric lady is that she’ll RARELY make YOU the topic of conversation.
She won’t ask you questions…
She doesn’t care to comment on things about you…
She tunes out when you’re telling your own stories…
She has a habit of turning the conversation CONSTANTLY back to her.
If you’re noticing that the only thing she’s interested in is your attention and adoration…and REFUSES to give the same back to you…
Then make her WANT to give you something in return.
The way to do that is to get her actually interested in YOU…as opposed to interested in you being her personal cheerleader.
3. “There’s No One Else…” – Being single sometimes means being lonely…LET’S BE REAL!
I’m not gonna lie there are times when I pop on The Notebook with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s only to find myself in a puddle of tears and DESPERATION to have a man (ANY MAN) around RIGHT THIS SECOND.
Cuz really…once the movie’s over…I NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD ME!
And a lot of single girls who find themselves in this position are no different.
How To Spot Them:
These are a tough find but these girls usually hit you up when there’s something that needs to be done…
Her dishwasher isn’t working…
Her car is making funny noises…
She can’t reach the tortilla chips on the top shelf (how’d she even get them up there then?!)…
Or she needs a MAN to make her feel like a WOMAN (cue my Notebook scene).
Whatever it is, these are women who don’t have OTHER men around to save them.
I once cut myself with a knife while chopping up carrots and, after all the bleeding had subsided and I was for sure not going to die, I called up my Dad to tell him…when he replied with, *cue Filipino accent* “DAT’S WHY YOU NEED A BOYPREN! WATT IP YOU DIE?! WHO WILL TELL US?!”
And some women will keep you around for this reason…
Because somebody will need to alert the authorities if she accidentally kills herself in her kitchen.
Truth is, you don’t want her around because she happens to have no other man…you want her to be around because there’s no other man she WANTS.
4. “I’ve Got Nothing Better To Do” – I dunno about you but I have a to-do list that I LIVE by.
I also work from home, all my closest friends live HOURS away, and I don’t have a 9-5.
So it’s not uncommon for me to have the most random down-times with absolutely NOTHING to do.
And for single girls out there who can’t seem to find anything enjoyable to do…THEY WILL CALL YOU UP TO HANG OUT.
Again, whether it’s because she wants to go out for a fancy meal…or maybe needs the ego boost…or maybe there isn’t anyone ELSE around to hang out with…
Whatever it is…YOU may be somebody on her list to relieve her of her boredom.
How To Spot These Girls:
These are the ones who barely have anything to say when you text them…
The ones that are difficult to get a hold of…
And the ones who take days or weeks to respond…
And when they DO respond it’s with something like, “Hey you 😉 what’s up I miss you!” or some other bullshit that refuses to acknowledge her shadiness or lack of response to your previous texts.
They’re also the girls who come out of nowhere, unprompted, asking what you’re up to and hoping that you’re free and ready to relieve them of their boredom, either by just texting them or by offering up something more exciting to do than sitting at home by herself.
These are the girls who leave you on the back burner for a rainy day because, at this point, they’re just not that into you.
Whatever the reason, if you have a girl on your hands who isn’t chomping at the bit to have you or immediately responding when you text her…
Chances are she’s got one of these 4 reasons to keep you around.
Mark my words, when a woman really wants you she sits by her phone and waits to see texts coming in from you.
When I REALLY REALLY like a guy, for as much as I DON’T wanna look desperate, I can’t stop myself from texting him or saying “YES!” when he wants to hang out…
And when he goes in to kiss me, you bet your ass I’ve been waiting and fantasizing about it for a long time at that point.
Women can’t help themselves when they actually want you!
It’s the reason we have reputations for being CRAZY when it comes to love…because when the love is ACTUALLY there…nothing can stop us from showing it.
So whatever you do, PLEASE don’t settle for a girl who keeps you around for an ego boost or means to relieve her boredom…
Because you deserve a girl who goes CRAZY over you, will gladly pay for YOUR meals, and would choose you first and always out of anybody or anything she’s got going on.