At 6 years old, my Saturday mornings consisted of spam-and-egg breakfasts and Saturday Morning Cartoons. My favorites were Rocko’s Modern [Read More]
jealous bitches
Happy Birthday Booty, Part III
Now with Persian Princess behind me, me in the middle, and Fifty Shades in front of me, we lay down and face one another, as we continue to talk [Read More]
Happy Birthday Booty, Part II
Continuing to roll on Molly and stroll down Holly….wood Boulevard (yeah, ya like that?!), I unleash a fury of nonstop questions as Fifty [Read More]
Happy Birthday Booty, Part I
In true happy-birthday fashion, I organized a slutty slumber party Friday night to ring in my 26th year of being a living, breathing, fucking [Read More]
The Libidinous Laundry Blues
I’m still sweating, panting, and palpitating as I type this, not because it’s 85 degrees right now in my apartment and not even [Read More]
How To Fuck A Billionaire
Driving down to Newport Beach from Beach Blender's place, I down as much water and Ibuprofen as I can (careful not to accidentally take the [Read More]
The Dougie and The Douche
I had planned on staying in last night to watch Sex and The City and paint my nails. Miss Mirage hit me up around 7 though demanding that, if I [Read More]
It all started when…
It all started when I began speaking to Wiley again, the former drug-addict/former flame I dated back in July and eventually ended things with in [Read More]
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