awkward

Fifty Shades didn’t ask me if I wanted to see him today or if I still wanted to do dinner on the beach; he told me that’s what [Read More]

To reiterate this point from a previous blog post, no I don’t just meet mother fuckers on the side of the street, take them home with me, [Read More]

At 6 years old, my Saturday mornings consisted of spam-and-egg breakfasts and Saturday Morning Cartoons.  My favorites were Rocko’s Modern [Read More]

Now with Persian Princess behind me, me in the middle, and Fifty Shades in front of me, we lay down and face one another, as we continue to talk [Read More]

Continuing to roll on Molly and stroll down Holly….wood Boulevard (yeah, ya like that?!), I unleash a fury of nonstop questions as Fifty [Read More]

In true happy-birthday fashion, I organized a slutty slumber party Friday night to ring in my 26th year of being a living, breathing, fucking [Read More]

I’m still sweating, panting, and palpitating as I type this, not because it’s 85 degrees right now in my apartment and not even [Read More]

Driving down to Newport Beach from Beach Blender's place, I down as much water and Ibuprofen as I can (careful not to accidentally take the [Read More]