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The Pick-up Artist

Jul 20

Him: *in a crowd of five guys walking into the club behind me* Hey cute dog! Can I pet it?

Me: *sitting on a bench in front of the club and pizza parlor with my dog, waiting for a friend to come out, wearing sweatpants and a wife beater and not paying any mind* Yeah, sure…she’s not nice though.

Him: *petting my dog then walking away* Thank you! *walking off to catch up with his friends then coming back after a couple minutes to where I’m still seated* Hey so I was wondering *squatting down to be eye level with me* I’m gonna pretend to be getting your number to piss my friend off over there, do you mind playing along? *taking out his phone and motioning to his friend over yonder to hold on*

Me: *giggling* Yeah I’m game man…go ahead.

Him: *loudly so his friend can hear* OK so what’s your number??

Me: 732…….*continuing to give him my real name and number*

Him: Wait so is this your real number?

Me: Yup.

Him: So…..since I have it and everything….is it OK if I call you sometime? *smiling to himself and blushing, as he can’t hide that this was actually his damn move the entire time*

Me: (OOOoooooooooooooooooh!!! He’s good!!) *finding this move all-too endearing and laughing out loud* Hahahaha…. Yeah, man…you can definitely call me some time.

Tags: Avalon, awkward, Bardot, daddy issues, dating, dick, drugs, Fifty Shades of Grey, fuck, fucking, grindr, Hollywood, Hollywood Blvd., horny, jealous bitches, kiss and tell, LA, LOL, Los Angeles, Molly, online dating, set of balls, sex, sex and drugs, sex and the city, sex on the beach, silly hoes, Single Girl, sluts, stout Categories: Blog

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