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Happy Birthday Booty, Part III

Jun 10

Now with Persian Princess behind me, me in the middle, and Fifty Shades in front of me, we lay down and face one another, as we continue to talk in whispers about our night and lives. While he strokes my hair and tells me about his travels, we hear Persian Princess again from behind me, “STOP TALKING AND START FUCKING!”, pretending to snore after finishing her demand. SHE IS SO FUCKING CREEPY!!!! We laugh and giggle in whispered shock between us as it eventually fades into an awkward, sexually charged and tense silence.

WARNING: OUT-OF-THE-ORDINARY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW.  ALL FAMILY MEMBERS OF MINE KINDLY REFRAIN FROM READING ANY FURTHER.  EVERYONE ELSE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.  AND DON’T FUCKING SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU…BITCHES.

His eyes locked on mine in a soft stare, Fifty Shade slowly runs his fingers from my hair down the length of my arm, eventually tucking his fingers into the band of my shorts, gently caressing me back and forth from my navel to my hip, igniting a flush and surge of sensations from between my thighs. Oh…my God in heaven… I slightly part my mouth as my breath quickens and my heart races… Fuck, I’m wet and I want him. I LOVE THIS DRUG.

With his face firm and expressionless, Fifty Shades lowers his voice and asks, “Is it OK if I do this?” as he continues to run his fingers along my lower waist.  Breathing heavily, I manage to choke out a whispered, “Oh yeah….I like that…” Now moving his head down to my navel, Fifty Shades gently lifts up my shirt and places his tongue on my flesh, tracing it teasingly back and forth across my belly, circling it in waves across my skin and sending waves of euphoric pulses from my groin all the way to the tips of my toes and fingers. Lifting his tongue from my body for a micro-moment, he whispers again, “And is this OK…?”, as he gently licks and nibbles at the flesh below my belly button, the vibrations of his lips on my skin sending me into a soaking wet frenzy in my panties.  HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.  I LOVE THIS DRUG.

I grab his hair in my hands as I move onto my back, pushing my hips forward against his tongue. I can’t help but moan and groan loudly and force out a breathless, “Oh yeah…just like that…”, Persian Princess asleep and up against me as he glides his tongue gently from side to side right above my pussy lips.  “Mmm I see you like that…” he mumbles from between my legs, as he continues to tongue and tease me mercilessly.  “What a good girl you are…” he affirms as I squirm and moan and heave.  AND he’s a dirty talker?  FUCK this does not get any better…I love positive reinforcement….and this drug (did I mention that yet?).

Continuing to slowly pulse my hips against his head, I grab the back of my headboard as Fifty Shades moves his head down and places his tongue on the inside of my knee, now tracing his tongue slowly up my inner thigh, while I breathe and pant and beg, “Oh God yeah please…” As I continue to squirm and moan and thrust, Fifty Shades never taking his tongue from my skin, slowly trailing it in those circular waves up and up and UP the inside of my leg, his warm wet tongue gives me chills with its trails as I grow even more warm and wet myself, spreading my legs farther apart to take him in, him stopping and teasing his way along the crease between my thigh and my pussy, now slightly and slowly sliding his wet tongue into the side of my panties.  OH…MY…GOD!!! HE’S GONNA MAKE ME CUM! I think to myself when, out of NOWHERE, alongside of me from BENEATH the covers I hear a soft muffled moaning, followed by a, “Oooooooh yeeeaaaaah YEEEAAAAH LIKE THAT!  Don’t stop mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!”

UMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!  WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!!?#!$%@?%!

Fifty Shades and I stunned and jerking back in shock, Persian Princess continues to moan and move around as we try desperately to keep our hysterics to a low volume. WHAT THE FUCK SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP HOLY SHIT SHE IS THE BIGGEST CREEPER COCK BLOCK EVERRRR!!!!!!!! Way to ruin my birthday head, bitch! Fuckin-ay man, good head is sooooooooo hard to come by and I just KNOW he’s gonna be soooooo good at it!!!  Ugh….

Still somehow fresh in the moment (must be the Molly), yet very bitter about Persian Princess stunting my orgasm, I yaaaaaaank Fifty Shades on top of me and take his mouth onto mine, parting his lips with my tongue as the two of us begin to taste and consume one another orally. Rolling over, I TOSS him on top of Persian Princess, as she let’s out a soft, squealing yelp from the force of his body against hers. TAKE THAT BITCH! Fifty Shades then rolls back over on top of me as I take him in between my legs. I dig my nails into his back and squeeze him tighter with my thighs as he buries his face in my neck, licking and biting and kissing his way down my chest, as my head hits the back of my wooden headboard, all of which causes me to moan loader and breathe heavier. Reaching down to envelop both my legs in his hands, Fifty Shades whispers into my ear while simultaneously nibbling it, “God, baby, I love your thick thighs” as he yaaaaanks me tighter around him in a firm forceful grip.  God he’s so rough.  I fucking LOVE IT.

Now, my 16-year-old self would’ve sworn to never eat again in a rush of flooding insecurity, convinced that he just called me fat. At 26-years-old, however, I feel myself even more turned on and I reply back with, “Baby, then you need to feel my ass” as I now place both my hands on his and move them up into my shorts and underneath my panties, gripping my cheeks in his hands as I bite hard into his chest. Fifty Shades then let’s out a choked moan, as he lifts me up off the bed and straddles me across him sitting up, his dick rock hard and pitching a perfect tent in his mesh pants. Jesus Christ that thing is huuuuuuuge! It’s like up to my nipples!! I can’t have that in me!

At this point, I’m holding onto Fifty Shades with one arm while shoving Persian Princess HARD behind me with the other; I can’t fuck this guy in the bed with my friend while all my other friends listen outside my door! I would’ve totally taken him going down on me.  Shiiiiiit, it’s my birthday I DESERVE IT!  But…really…I can’t fuck a guy I just met a HALF HOUR PRIOR ON THE STREET!!!!  ESPECIALLY not with my friend under the sheets. 

(I just met you…and this is CRAAAZYYY!!  But here’s my va-jay….eat it, maybe!)

I’m classier than that.  Real deal, guys.  I’m definitely way too far into this right now, though, and, don’t ask me WHAT THE FUCK is making me think I can’t fuck him tonight BECAUSE I WANT TO. I just know I shouldn’t…? Ahh…don’t ask. However, I know I sure as hell am not gonna be able to stop myself from doing so, so I’m hoping that Persian Princess will do it for me. This hope proves pointless, nonetheless, as she continues to moan and groan and mumble soft, “Oooooooh yeah….!”s alongside us.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

In this instant, we hear a loud knock on the door, the both of us quickly releasing each other and Fifty Shades getting up to go answer it.  Cookies is outside and I can hear her say, “Umm!!!! We just wanna make sure that Persian Princess is OK in there!” Shocked and appalled, Fifty and I defensively demand in reply, “If SHE’S ok?!?!?!?!?!!” as we’re all well aware that HE AND I are the ones getting sexually harassed all night!  Realizing that his friend (and ride) had just left and also further realizing that this is my ticket out, I tell Fifty Shades that he should probably head out too considering how ridiculous it would be if we did fuck tonight.  Fortunately, he agrees as the both of us compose ourselves and head out of my apartment. 

Standing outside my apartment door, Fifty Shades and I stare and sway back and forth, awkwardly facing one another undeniably unsure how to conduct a proper goodbye.  God he’s sexy.  Tall, toned, and diesel.  How am I not naked and pressed up against that perfect body right now?  Finally breaking the silence and space between us, Fifty Shades places his one hand firmly behind my head and the other behind my waist, pulling me closer to him and taking my mouth into his.  GOD I LOVE THIS DRUG.  My hands now running and rummaging through his soft blonde hair, Fifty Shades HOISTS me up and onto him, wrapping my legs around him and now pressing me hard against the wall behind me to support me up with his own waist, as he releases my ass from his grip and moves his hands up the side of my torso.  In one firm fluid motion, Fifty Shades slides both his hands up my arms, pinning them both forcefully above my head and holding them tightly in place at the wrists, as he bites my lip and whispers through gritted teeth, “I should just fuck you right here you bad girl,” his dick now hard and pressing up against me.  Oh my God YES! 

“NO!”  I scream, even though in this moment I would actually have NO PROBLEM fucking him in my hallway.  Still biting and kissing and sucking on each other’s lips and tongues, my arms still pinned up above my head, Fifty Shades whispers out, “Tomorrow then, you, me, beach, wine, chocolates..I have to see you tomorrow.”  Now, without hesitation, Fifty Shades abruptly steps back, me FALLING to the ground and still PINNED to the wall with his one hand, as he grabs my chin with the other and says, “Later, baby.”  My arms still above my head, completely stunned and dumbfounded, I continue to breathe and pant as Fifty Shades winks and walks away.  Umm…what?  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!?!?!??!!?!?!? 

I stand and stare in utter shock and disbelief for about an extra 45 seconds, as he’s already rounded the corner and been out of sight for the past 40.  Holy shit.  Did that just happen?  I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!  This very well may be the biggest fucking tease I’ve ever endured in my entire life……and I LOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Fuck this, I’m gonna go blow my mind myself and masturbate.  Persian Princess can moan along with me all she wants.

He better fucking call me tomorrow.

Happy birthday to me.

Tags: Avalon, awkward, Bardot, daddy issues, dating, dick, drugs, Fifty Shades of Grey, fuck, fucking, grindr, Hollywood, Hollywood Blvd., horny, jealous bitches, kiss and tell, LA, LOL, Los Angeles, Molly, online dating, set of balls, sex, sex and drugs, sex and the city, sex on the beach, silly hoes, Single Girl, sluts, stout Categories: Uncategorized

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