I have no idea how I managed to head out last night, but champion out onto the mean streets of Hollywood Blvd. I did God dammit! I ended up out with my girlfriends Sunny and Angel, with the three of us outnumbered by Sunny’s boyfriend and his 4 guy friends. Fine with me, if I didn’t take anyone home I figured one of them would do.
We got to the club first before Sunny’s boyfriend and his friends and Sunny says to me,
Sunny: Jay..you have to fuck Andrew’s friend Greg. Like seriously you should fuck him tonight.
Me: Umm is he hot?!
Sunny: You already met him at my party! That guy you were dancing with all night…
Me: No clue…but if he’s hot I’m game…but only if I don’t bring something better home
Sunny: Ok but seriously you should he’s really slutty too so he’ll totally try to fuck you
There was really nothing to note about this Greg character, considering Angel and I took it upon ourselves to be in our own little world at the club…that or I was just so heavily consumed by the drug-induced dancing and house music that I could really give a fuck about anything else going on, like talking to a guy I very well may sleep with later. Whatever, did I really have to talk to him anyway? Upon returning home, Sunny drunkenly stumbled her way on over to me when I was alone in the kitchen, insisting yet again that, “Hey you totally need to fuck him you do.” Completely uninterested in doing anything but telling Angel how much I love her and wanna play with her pretty hair and tell her I love her some more and call up all my friends in LA and tell them how much I love them too and ooooooh make sure to tell Drama cuz I love love love him and my family can’t forget them and how much I love everybody in California for that matter and wait JERSEY TOO!!!!!!!!!!, I demand to know why why why in the HELL Sunny do I just neeeeeed to fuck him?! Sunny, holding onto my juicer like that’s the thing that’ll keep her drunk ass from falling over, replied with, “You need to fuck him…you just need to he’s good dick trust me you need to fuck him.” WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!?!?! Before I go and begin judging Sunny, I remind myself that this is the girl who no more than 30 minutes prior was on the dance floor at Boulevard 3 too inebriated to realize that her entire titty was out and exposed on the dance floor, and I’m not talkin about a quick nipple slip, I’m talkin ENTIRE BREAST EXPOSED AND BOUNCING AROUND EXCITEDLY. Ahh…ok, as I have flash backs of this EXACT picture in my head, I let the comment slide (regardless of whether or not it’s true) and I fully accept her argument. Somehow shortly after, Greg and I end up in the kitchen alone by ourselves with this conversation:
Him: Ya know I really fuckin hate coming out to Hollywood
Me: *annoyed out of my fucking mind that he’s talkin shit about my town my NEW HOME AWAY FROM HOME* Yeah…it can be really crazy out here sometimes…
Him: There’s just too many blacks.
Me: *not wanting to express how I really feel considering it will turn into a catastrophe of an mental breakdown equipped with crying and throwing of inanimate household objects, that I love and will regret throwing later, considering my heightened emotional state, opting instead to validate for the time being* Umm…yeah there is a lot of diversity out here…
Him: They just fucking think they run the world now
Me: (FUCKING WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!! mother fucker do you SEEEEEEEE the color of my skin are you serious right now!) Wait…who does?
Him: The blacks.
Me: (THE BLACKS he says…) OK yeah I’m gonna umm… *getting up and darting off without taking the time to think of a viable excuse to up and leave this completely ridiculous conversation, yet stumbling ever so slowly while doing so because of how fucked up I am as he watches me stumble and crumble away from him*
No amount of drugs in the world could’ve made me fuck that guy. End of story.
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