Drummer and my sister have finally stopped their THREESOME chant.
And only because we’re now in Izzy’s for a drunken binge.
As soon as we sit down, I immediately feel the vomit bubbling up into my throat.
Excusing myself ever-so gracefully, I fall out of the booth and scramble to my feet.
They don’t notice.
Now dusting myself off, I stumble in my leather pants and gold stilettos to the bathroom, hugging the wall tightly as I slide against it.
(Going out in Santa Monica is not like going out in Hollywood. It’s colder and classier. Needless to say I couldn’t head out in a sheer, spandex dress with crotchless panties. I instead opted for skin-tight leather pants and a backless shirt. Yes, I know…I’m a genius.)
In the bathroom, I vomit aggressively into the toilet, becoming even sicker on my hands and knees as I taste the Patron now exiting my body through the wrong orifice.
Hopefully I’ll be too sick to fuck.
Yes this is my wish for tonight.
I rinse and gargle my mouth.
I wonder if it’ll be cleaner if I gargle with HAND SOAP!
I decide to try this out as the logic seems infallible.
I feel the bubbles swoosh through my teeth as the bitter taste of pink floral diner soap sends sharp nauseating sensations down into my stomach.
UGH FUCKING GROSS!
I run back into the stall to now vomit up the hand soap I so willingly attempted to rinse with.
I grab a poor-excuse-of-a-paper-towel/brown piece of cardboard from the rolling napkin dispenser to clean up the smeared mascara and eyeliner from my eyes.
I then rinse and gargle again, following with a thorough hand and face wash and reapplying of lip gloss.
OK I’m done.
I walk out of the bathroom and see my sister sitting solo at the booth.
That means Drummer’s in the bathroom.
I decide to wait right outside the men’s bathroom door to catch him.
Catch him and what, Jayla?
Ahh…haven’t thought that far ahead yet, self.
The door opens and I stand in front of Drummer with my hands clasped behind my back, an “Aww Shucks” smile and blush beaming from my face as I look up at him through my lashes.
He tilts his head and smiles endearingly back at me.
In an instant Drummer grabs me into his arms, turning me as he presses me hard against the wall behind me.
I feel his dick hard against me too.
His lips and tongue now swirl in my mouth as I wonder whether or not he can taste my vomit…or the pink hand soap…or the pink hand soap and my vomit.
Drummer finds my sweet-spot on my neck with his tongue as I reach down into his pants to find his dick with my hand.
“Fuck me” I tell him through gritted teeth.
Drummer breathes hard as I push the door behind me to get into the men’s bathroom, my hand still tight around his cock.
He doesn’t follow me in and instead has a look of extreme disgust on his face.
Then I realize why…
IT SMELLS LIKE RANCID SHIT IN THERE!!!!!
I say nothing.
I instead match his disgusted expression.
The both of us walk back to the booth with my sister.
He didn’t fuck me.
The three of us now wait for our ridiculous orders of veggie sliders and french fries, as I slide my right foot up and down Drummer’s dick from underneath the table.
I genuinely believe there’s nothing wrong with being a cock tease right now.
Much like my sister believed there was nothing wrong with telling a crowded group of men that she wanted to play “Who’s In My Mouth.”
Maybe we’re not much different after all.
Somewhere in between my attempts at undoing Drummer’s leather belt with my toes and my sister demanding “THESE ARE THE BEST VEGGIE SLIDERS I’VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!” I somehow black out on the table.
Waking up me up to go, we finally now leave to head back home.
It’s fucking 4 o’clock in the morning at this point.
Once getting into Drummer’s place, my sister and I collapse on his couch, convinced that neither or us should drive back to Hollywood.
Drummer heads upstairs to get pillows and blankets.
My Sister: *passing out as she asks* So you’re not gonna sleep with him are you?
Me: *as if she just asked a dumb question* Leelu…of course not…what do you think I’m retarded? (Yes.)
My Sister: *falling asleep* No…OK GOOD…cuz if you did I think you would totally make hanky panky…
Me: Not fuckin happening, man (might happen)…I’m sleeping RIGHT HERE with you (maybe) *hoping that what I’m saying will stand*
When he returns, I notice he has ONE fucking pillow in his hand and a skimpy ass blanket that could’ve barely swaddled baby Jesus.
What the fuck?
Me: *genuinely wondering* Drummer…what the fuck where’s MY pillow and blanket?
Drummer: *pointing up and pouting* I have a pillow and blanket for you upstairs…in my room…in my bed *now smirking at me insidiously*
Me: *trying to sound annoyed yet mildly turned on* Dude…I’m not sleeping in your bed… *now mimicking his smirk*
Drummer: Come on…I want you to sleep with me…*taking both my hands in his*
Me: *yanking my hands from his and pointing at him* FINE…but you PROMISE not to fuck me?! Promise me you will NOT try to fuck me! *shoving a raised pinky finger in his face*
Drummer: *pressing his lips tightly and darting his eyes back and forth* Umm…ok…I promise…but I’m not gonna pinky promise!
This is enough for me.
“You guys better not have sex!!!!!! I’ll hear you!! And I’ll know!!! AND I’LL STOP YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!” my sister screams from under the baby blankie.
I actually don’t doubt this in the least.
Drummer’s bedroom is RIGHT ABOVE the living room where my sister will be asleep.
There is NOTHING that would stop my sister from banging on the door while we bang to demand we stop.
Trust me, she’s done this before.
The two of us make our way upstairs as I internally chastise myself:
“DON’T DO IT!!! DON’T FUCKING DO IT, JAYLA! I HOPE YOUR VAJAY JAY IS TOO DRY TO FUNCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Yeah, me too.
Whatever man I’m too fucking tired to fuck AND I gotta be up for work tomorrow.
If anything I’ll take care of myself there.
I spend all day at work horny as shit anyway and if I need to I can just go rub one out real quick in the bathroom.
I sadly cannot deny having done this before.
I hear Drummer close the door behind me as I lift my shirt over my head, unhook my bra, slide off my pants and crawl under his covers.
I can’t sleep in clothes OK?!
Drummer crawls in behind me.
I roll over to my left side to face away from him.
He spoons me from behind.
And you bet my bare ass he’s hard.
UGH come on.
I choose to ignore it and instead doze off…
Now…I’m not sure how much time passed, but at this point I’m now waking up to the feeling of Drummer’s finger grazing my pussy over my thong from behind me.
Holy shit no.
I am a complete sucker for this move.
But I’m pretty much still asleep too.
I manage a muffled, “No” as I feel myself growing increasingly wet against my panties.
I can’t even move at this point because I’m too drunk and sleepy but APPARENTLY my vagina isn’t!
Drummer hugs me tighter in his arms as he runs his tongue from the top of my shoulder and up the side of my neck, now lightly kissing and sucking on the back of my neck while tracing the outside of my panties with his fingers between me.
“Noooo…….DON’T…….STOP!!!!” I tell him.
The intent is to vehemently deny his sexual advances. I promise I meant for there to be punctuated pauses in between these three words. However, I can now admit that I’m pretty sure it was stated more like this:
“No don’t stop!”
I grunt and wiggle as a means to get myself out of this, but more so moan and rub my ass and pussy against his dick and finger.
God it feels so good when he plays with me like that…
And I know he knows this shit.
He doesn’t stop.
Instead Drummer continues to suck on the back of my neck, his hot breath sending chills down between my legs, where I now feel his finger move my panties to the side and find its way deep inside me.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH GOD YES.
I let out a loud, “Nooooooo!” as my entire body carnally pulsates from the touch of his hand, my pussy now throbbing and wet around his right middle finger.
“Nooo…stop it…..you promised….!” I moan loudly as I arch my back and bounce myself up and down on his “fuck you” gesture inside me.
This is exactly what R. Kelly was talking about in “Bump and Grind.”
As if ignoring my thoughts and answering only to my body’s demands, Drummer gets on his knees and lifts me up off the bed onto mine.
My face is still down in the pillow with my ass high up in the air as I feel him slide my thong down to my knees and grip my ass cheeks in both his hands, giving them a shake in his fists and following with a firm spank.
Holy shit I need to feel him in me already!
I feel myself soaking wet.
Drummer takes his fingers and feels it too.
Unable to stop myself or him, I choke out a loud shocked moan as I now feel Drummer swirl a flat tongue in my asshole.
OK I’M AWAKE NOW!
Fuck I bet my sister heard that.
I give another feeble attempt at stopping exactly what I want in this moment with a convincingly persuasive “No….don’t….stop!” as he continues to slide his fingers in and out of me effortlessly.
He still doesn’t stop.
He replies only with another spank hard across my left ass cheek.
I finally give up.
I can hear and feel Drummer start to lick and suck up my juices from behind me as I now thrust myself back onto his tongue.
My sister’s definitely gonna hear this.