The Making of a Predator

I joined OKCupid last night.  As if paying for Match.com wasn’t enough, now I totally seem like that girl: ya know, the one that’s desperately “looking for Mr. Right and my friend married her husband on here and I’m sick of the bar scene and I’m funny and love to laugh and I love my friends!”  ………..KILL YOURSELF!  That’s mean of me actually…I hope she finds the one…. *crickets*  Anyway, I promise you, t’was not an attempt to further cast my net onto more and more and more men because “OMG I CANT FIND A DECENT GOOD LOOKING HARD WORKING GUY,” cuz FUUUUUUCK that I’ve actually found plenty, just none that I’m actually into.  No, it was more so it’s been quite some time since I’d gotten any, I shouldn’t have to dip into my “been there done that” stash to do so, and I figured I’d try that whole “no strings attached thing” that they just happened to have made TWO MOVIES about this past year….fuck it why not right?

Instead of reading “A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose,” (which believe it or not assholes I actually do every night before bed!), I creeped on gorgeous, big, buff, shallow-looking men for THREE HOURS!  Ugh…I know, I was disgusted with myself too when I realized it.  Any hoot, I eventually found one actor/model/cell phone salesman (which they all are) to chat up and attempt to coax into cyber sex, as I was terribly bored, had never done it before, and thought it’d be hilarious if I actually succeeded.  I said things like, “Come on don’t be such a prude!”  and “Nobody has to know Jeez!”  Ya know, things that 16-year-old boys and pedophiles say.  Poor guy.  I eventually gave up, he eventually began drinking (or so his IM said), and we somehow ended up talking philosophically about love and relationships.  Needless to say, I went to bed unfulfilled and with yet another even creepier, problematic behavior in which I had just engaged.  I wonder if this is how all internet predators start out…