silly hoes

As desperately as everyone demanded I read Fifty Shades of Grey (which I now happen to use often every night to masturbate), I’m being [Read More]

I got a massage the other day. The masseuse happened to be this super muscular, lean, fit beautiful 45-year-old man who wore a hemp necklace and [Read More]

Specialty treats from the Orange County fair [Read More]

1. I feel all too comfortable enough to be my genuine self in front of most men, which mostly consists of me genuinely being gassy 24/7. 2. I [Read More]

Now, I’m not gonna lie, I definitely have a few drinks in me.  Not enough to make me a hot mess in bed, but definitely enough to make me a [Read More]

I attempted to have Voxer sex today. It’s a step down from phone sex, yet a step up from sexting. It is exactly how you would imagine sex [Read More]

It’s Thursday night and 4:45 in the morning.  I guess technically that would make it Friday morning.  In that case, it’s mother fucking 4:45 am [Read More]

It’s Thursday night and 4:45 in the morning.  I guess technically that would make it Friday morning.  In that case, it’s mother fucking 4:45 am [Read More]

A young 18-year-old girl told me that she once used to do cocaine and Molly, carelessly sleeping around back when she was younger. Yeah, me [Read More]