Was at the MAC today looking at lipstick with my cousin. I was determined to buy a nice rouge, as I don’t ever wear lipstick and thought I could start. As I picked up this bright, obnoxious red color, the gay Vietnamese makeup consultant with bleached blonde spikey hair and entirely too much crackling foundation on for his own good but with fabulously glossed lips comes over to me and says:
Him: *in thick Vietnamese accent* Aaaahhh nuuuuuuh Hunneee daaaas too sluttee fo yoooo! Don do daaaat culuhhh!
Me: Mother fucker I was born and raised on the Jersey Shore and I now live in Hollywood.
Him: Okaaaay den in dat case baybee dat woks
I bought the lipstick