The first one I got was back in 2011.
He was shirtless in a public bathroom with sunglasses on and a guy peeing in the background.
The last one I got was last night at 1:38 in the morning…
He was in his own bathroom.
I think not.
No clue what I’m talking about?
I’m talking about the shirtless, mirror selfie that guys are all getting way-too-addicted to these days.
Here’s the thing: If I sent you an uncensored shot of my bare chest or pussy…you’d probably get hard.
Simple cause and effect, right?
For any guy getting a picture of any girl.
HOWEVER, when YOU send US pictures of your bare chest and penis…we uhh….noooo…
We giggle and say, “What the fuck? Why?”
(A lot of times I roll my eyes and then forward the pictures to my girlfriends in a mass text).
In FACT, as I’m writing this I just got sent a naked mirror selfie while said stud was cupping his cock.
WHAT’RE THE ODDS?!
I screamed out, “AAHHH OMGG!!!!” then threw my phone across the room like I’d just received herpes via text.
I am now picking up my phone to mass text it to my girlfriends.
Don’t get me wrong, if you work out and take care of yourself and think you look HOT then POWER TO YOU!
And YES you deserve to flaunt that hard body so PLEASE DO!
But if it’s your way of trying to get us turned on via text…
Eh…you’ll get laughed at, rather than laid.
Because what do you expect us to do after you send it?!
We won’t get immediately wet like you would get hard…and if we’re not getting turned on and we’re just looking at a picture you took of yourself and your half-naked body…
It’s like taking off your shirt in the middle of me telling you about my day…
Now, this isn’t to say that a girl your dating won’t WANT one of you…
Cuz I’ll be the first to say that I love bragging to my girlfriends when I’m dating a guy who could give Jason Statham a run for his money…
HOWEVER, if you’re doing it as a means to get her sexting you or turned on RIGHT NOW to come over.
You’re better off using your words.
It’s the reason women everywhere were all of a sudden fucking themselves to 50 Shades of Grey when they could easily just jump on Red Tube for a quick and easy porno.
Cuz getting us to THINK about you naked and on top of us is gonna get us much hotter than SHOWING US a picture of you half-naked.
We want you to want us…and we got hot knowing what we do to you.
All a guy has to do is mention how much he loves my ass or hair and it gets my gears goin.
Because our biggest erogenous zone is our BRAIN…and the second you give us a starting point to work with is the second we’ll create our own erotic fantasy in our heads…
The only problem is, most dogs don’t have the balls to show a woman they want them OR they end up coming off as desperate and needy (neutered much?).
The key is to get on her good graces…get her feelin good…and then KAPOWWWW!!!!
It can take up to 30 seconds or 3 hours and you can do it even if she already seems like she’s not that into you.
So put the selfie stick down…tell her what you REALLY want…and get off your freakin phone to show her exactly what she’s gonna get IN REAL LIFE.