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How To Make a Porn Star Blush

Dec 5

Today, my favorite male porn star came into the office.

My co-worker who works directly with him has been telling him for weeks now about how one of the girls at the office has a huge crush on him…and is desperate to fuck his dick off.

True on both accounts.

I hadn’t showered since partying with Persians last night and having smoked weed out of an apple with a 90-year-old man at the club (why he was in there was probably the most bizarre occurrence of the night).

In fact, It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t reek of cigars and nervousness the second I walked in today.

But I did.

As soon as he saw me, he lit up and said, “Hey baby how are you today?” in that SEXY THICK BIG BUFF BRITISH MAN ACCENT that he has.

I instantly began sweating over the already dried and stale sweat from the night before…

And instantly got wet with fury down below.

He totally knew it too…and was TOTALLY basking in it.

I fanned myself immediately as to not ruin my cream blouse with pit stains.

Taking my seat at my desk, I fanned myself even MORE FURIOUSLY as I watched him in the reflection of my screen…seething with sexual voracity as I remembered having purposely not come into work with any panties today, feeling myself ooze with anticipation onto my tight black jeans.

Either that or I was getting my period.

Eww.  Ultimate fantasy buzz-kill.

I pretended to do my work as I watched him then sidle up behind me in the reflection on my Mac, then crouch down by my seat next to me, and whisper in my ear,

Porn Star: So what do YOU do here, Sweetheart?  *licking his lips and smiling as if knowing damn well that I will burst into teeny bopper antics within a moment’s notice*

Me: *knowing damn well that I need to try everything in my power to NOT burst into teeny bopper antics but rather reserve my cool to maintain any sort of respect for myself* Ya know…*lowering my voice* that’s a good question…when I figure it out I’ll letcha know *winking back at my fantasy porn star*


He gave a good genuine laugh at that, which helped calm my nerves.

We then discussed how awful I thought his last movie was and everything I would’ve liked to see different, which then peaked his interest in discussing which scenes did the job for me and which didn’t and why.

Normally when I find myself talking to a guy who makes me nervous, I find at least ONE THING I can latch on to about him that can help me remember that he’s no better than me, just like I’m no better than him either.

Looking at Porn Star, I realized he’s a lot shorter than I thought he’d be.

I only fuck guys over 6 feet tall.

He stood at about 5’8.

And I sure as hell don’t fuck married men either.

Having taken mental note of these two things, the conversation got easier, if not more manageable (don’t get me wrong I still had to LITERALLY fan myself throughout our conversation, I was just able to control my need to pee out in an excited frenzy).

I found out he lives with my OTHER all-time porn-star crush.

This is definitely my male equivalent of realizing there is such thing as a brothel.

As soon as he told me I nearly jumped out of my seat to tell him, “I WANNA MARRY HIM!” 

Porn Star said I should come by the house some time and hang out.

  • Internal reaction: OMG OMG OMG YES YES YES YES YES!!! *as I stick my fingers in pussy and viciously massage my g-spot in front of him*
  • Outer actual reaction: Wow, that’d be so awesome.  *warm smile with direct eye contact*  That’s sweet of you to offer.

As he started to walk away and leave, I waved goodbye and told him while lowering my voice and putting on my bedroom eyes, “Bye, Porn Star…it was soooooo good talking to you…I can’t wait to see you again…”  as licked my lips,  double-lifted both my eyes in the quintessential rapist glare, and followed with a wink…continuously shifting my gaze from his eyes to his dick.

Quite noticeably too, at that.

Porn Star blushed hard, turning beat red and giggling as he put his head down and waved me goodbye.

Mwahahaha I thought to myself.

Just when I thought he was gone, he came back over to my seat and handed me his business card with his cell phone number on it, saying I should give him a call some time.

I then demanded we take a picture together.

Mostly so I can picture what I look like next to him while I further picture him pounding the shit out of me from behind later on tonight.

I think I looked totally fat in the picture.

He thought he looked old.

I told him, “No you look so sexy, baby” while winking at him and gripping his hard chest.

I wonder if he’d fuck me!

Mmm…if only I had the audacity to fuck married men.

Oh well…at least have the perfect fantasy for later tonight.

Boom, bitches.

Tags: awkward, california, chronic, dating, dick, drugs, fearless, finding yourself, flirting, fuck, fucking, Hollywood, Hollywood Blvd., hormones, horny, Jersey Shore, LA, LOL, Los Angeles, married men, porn stars, self-discovery, sex, sex and the city, Single Girl, sluts, slutty, whore, work Categories: Uncategorized

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