About 10 years ago I had a night of HOT, UNRELENTING passion with a guy I’d met maybe once a week prior.
He did one of my tattoos and I was so smitten with him I came back the very next day to have him do another one…
Right next to my vagina.
He was 11 years older than me so I was very careful not to come off as too…young girl needy?
(You know the type!)
I ended up going to his place a couple days later with my lil chihuahua Lola and proceeded to get, what I’ll always remember, as the BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE.
After I left his place I ended up getting a call from my ex who I was still desperately pining over and, much to my current self’s dismay, we ended up getting back together.
Which, for me and my Passion Man, meant nothing would come of our night of hot and heavy head and romping.
I stopped answering his calls and texts…
He eventually deleted his MYSPACE (BAGH remember that?!)…
…and I basically just never saw or heard from him ever again.
THE INTERNET HAPPENED!
In those 10 years we’d been apart, I thought about him…A LOT.
I never knew his last name (SO SUE ME!) so it made stalking him quite difficult and by the time I got any leeway by Googling his first name, his occupation, and his town of residence…
Six years had passed and he was now married with a kid.
And now that brings us to…THIS WEEKEND.
So I’m doing my nightly pre-sleep Tinder swiping in my childhood home where I grew up…when I come across…HIM.
He looks exactly the same…and considering he’s on TINDER he must quite OBVIOUSLY now be single.
I swipe right.
“YOU’VE GOT A MATCH!” Tinder tells me.
I don’t get my hopes up too soon.
We had one night together…it was 10 years ago…and although I’m Asian and will always look 12-years-old until the day I die…chances are…HE DOESN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE OR REMEMBER ME.
I go to sleep and think nothing more of it.
And hell no I’m not messaging him first!
I wake up this morning to a message from him…
He tells me he’s thought about me quite frequently over the years…
I admit to stalking him.
I’m seeing him tonight.
Now I dunno about you but if you’ve read this far chances are you’ve got a certain someone that got away some way some how.
And when that person gets away before you’re ready to have them leave your life…
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING SUCK!
So here are 4 reasons why you absolutely MUST GO GET that girl who got away…and why you’ll be glad you did once ya do 😉
1. Chances Are She Still Feels The Same Way You Do:
The great thing about unresolved feelings and passion is that it’s TIMELESS.
Sure they say, “Time heels all wounds” but it never makes us forget…and it never keeps us from still FEELING what we do.
There are plenty of men in my life that, if you mentioned their names, I’d have instantaneous flashbacks and tears to follow thereafter.
YOU may not go through the same thing…but us girls and our vaginas makes that even more possible because we’re generally the more emotional of the species.
Even if it ended badly and even if you think it was too long…chances are the FEELINGS she has for you are still there…and her having those feelings is gonna trump ANY LOGIC that may work against you!
2. Life Circumstances Change:
In the 10 years that passed between me and this dude, the INTERNET became an actual living, breathing THING that we use…I’d been in and out of at LEAST 3 relationships…he’d CLEARLY gotten divorced…
And we quite obviously have gone through enough life changes to eventually meet up again NOW.
For whatever reason you ended THEN, chances are you, she, and LIFE are just not the same.
It’s so easy to say that “It didn’t work out back then because of work/school/me”…but I’m willing to bet at least 1 of those things has shifted in a way that it can no longer suffice as a good enough excuse…
For you OR her!
And if YOUR life has changed even in the slightest way since you 2 last had The Notebook-worthy passion…then chances are hers has too…
And that might be enough of a shift that you’d need in order to try again this time around.
3. The Internet Now Leaves No Excuses:
Let’s be real for a second here…”I don’t know what she’s up to” and “I don’t know how to find her” aren’t a good enough excuses to NOT go after her anymore!
Again, I found my dude by Googling his first name, his occupation, and the town he lived in…
And I’ve helped my clients do the SAME EXACT THING to find THEIR girls!
Not being able to find her or not knowing if she’s seeing someone is as easy as Googling her, checking out her Facebook or whatever other social media she might be on, or doing some extra digging to see if anyone else has seen or heard from her.
SURE it sounds quite STALKY…but better to do it in the comfort of your own home than out and about outside her bedroom window.
Remember…it’s not creepy until you’re caught and how the hell are you gonna get caught looking her up if you’re just searching online?!
4. Women Won’t Reach Out First!:
OK back to this whole stalking thing…
We ladies do that shit all day every day…we’re all QUITE EXCELLENT at it too…
But here’s the thing…that’s usually the most we’ll do!
We already have the reputation as being “crazy” and “overly emotional” and we’re not gonna ruin our images anymore than they already may be by reaching out to you FIRST.
Us girls all pretty much operate under the assumption that NOTHING can stop a man from having the woman he really wants…
And if you haven’t reached out for us…we’ll usually just accept defeat…
And stalk you from afar.
Also, for as far as we’ve come for our gender, we STILL leave the “aggressing” and “approaching” to YOU.
Granted, you probably don’t wanna chase tail…but we REALLY don’t wanna chase boys!
So if you’re not reaching out to us to let us know we’re still on your minds…
Then we’ll just chalk it up to you wanting nothing to do with us anymore =(
And if that’s NOT the case…then it’s about time you do something about it!
I have one client who, at the time, was new into the pickup scene and had met a woman who he describes as “The most perfect thing that’s ever happened to me”…
Who he HAPPENED to let go because he was scared to get out of “The Game” now that he’s gotten really good.
And here he is now, 8 years later, still pining her and considering her as the best thing that’s ever happened to him even after all the women he’s been with.
And what’s stopping him from reaching out?
“Oh I’m sure she hates me…I was awful…I can’t possibly do that…”
Another client of mine had a wild night of passion with a girl he never called or texted again…
BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED SHE DIDN’T REALLY LIKE HIM!
And here I am, as a girl, knowing DAMN WELL that these poor girls were probably utterly heartbroken and are still probably PINING over my clients.
The truth is…for as much as you can’t forget about her…she probably feels the same way about you.
And the second you stop giving yourself excuses is the second you can get started on finally finding out “What could’ve been”…
But only if you’re man enough to!
It takes a real man to come out of the woodwork after all that time to say, “Hey…I still want you” and THAT’S the kind of guy every woman fantasizes about.
The guy who doesn’t let his pride get in the way of how badly he wants us.
And we girls won’t do it! When we try to do crazy “I WANT YOU I NEED YOU!” stuff like that…
YOU guys all call us crazy!
But when guys do it…when YOU do it…
It’s romantic =)
So make sure you do it right this time and do what you have to do to avoid letting her get away from you ever again.